SAEKO – Interview with Metal Princess Saeko

Saeko is oriental beauty, which arrived from Japan to would fulfil their dream about Metal!!! On her way she encountered many traps and adversity of fate, until in end this the fate smiled to her and today we can to admire her together act the SAEKO on Wacken among many the metal stars. Interested her mysterious history I invite to following interview… Since some questions go back to the days before her moving to Hamburg, Saeko sent some photos from those days…

Long time ago you dreamt that you would create a metal band one day and leave with your music to far tour. I think that your dream fulfilled. You compiled so superb the line-up of band – Sven Ludke & Hermann Frank (ex-members of ACCEPT) – the guitarists, Michael Ehre (METALIUM) – the drummer, Lars Ratz (METALIUM) – the producer and the musician helping parties of guitars and some vocals as well as Mariko Inoue – the bass player (ex-bass player of FAIRY MIRROR – Your ex-Japanese band). Let begin in order, ab ovo…

First of all, let me say hallo to you. About the line-up, yes, I’m very satisfied and very happy to have such nice people around me.

For seventh year of your life you played on the piano. Do all Japaneses begin learning on some instrument so early? The piano, the violins, etc.

Is it early? Well, I don’t know…Learning piano was very popular among young girls in Japan at that time, probably it is still so. My family likes music very much, too. Some music was always played on a record at home.

As fourteen you met with metal music for the first time. What were these bands?

BON JOVI, EUROPE, DEF LEPPARD etc. at first. Later I came to love HELLOWEEN, GAMMA RAY etc. Some albums from QUEENSRYCHE, MEGADETH gave me influence on me, too.

First was INSANIA, later you renamed the band to FAIRY MIRROR. Supposedly the band promised well in Japan, but however you leaved the band. Why?

I didn’t want to leave, but I had to. I got physically and also mentally severe breakdown, which forced me to get into a hospital. Sometimes I couldn’t even talk, because fits made me lose my consciousness. It was terrible and simply impossible to stay in the band. I could make them waiting till I get recovered, maybe for a few years, but I didn’t want them to stop their activity for such a long time, especially only for me. So, I told them to go on, finding a new singer. You know, I left the band because I loved the band. Of course, it’s always sad to lose something you really love. I cried from morning till night for 3 days.

Forgive me, but when I read your biography then the one thing intrigued me. This is only my curiosity, but medicine it is not strange for me and therefore I concentrate on the fragments speaking about you health. Did you fight with some disease?

Yes, as I said above, I got severe breakdown. Mentally and physically. Till then, for about 8 years or so, I had fought against the opposition of my family and relatives. Well, I was like, kind of an outsider in Japanese society. People have to dedicate their whole lives to the company in Japan, once they get a good job. In return, we get paid well and survive in the society. I felt that becoming adults means almost the same as becoming working machines. I had chances to get these good jobs, for I graduated a relatively good University. But I didn’t want to give up my own life that way. So, I did only part time jobs, playing in a heavy metal band. I didn’t have anything other than music, for what a little money I had was all put into the band. So, most people called me a stupid loser or just a dreamer. My family didn’t like it. But I could never, never give up my life and my dream. I struggled myself as much as I could. But then, one day, my brain and body collapsed. It seemed like I forced my body and brain too much, getting over my limit.

Let me explain, a bit more in detailed. When I was 14 years old, I realized how all the people on earth are united. Every morning I would look up the sky, imagining all people living under the same sky. I was always happy. But then, when I became 15 or 16 years old, eventually, I started to see the difference between my vision and cold reality. In my schools, I realized how powerless I was in a Japanese deviation valued education system. When I turned my eyes on the broader world, there was also lots of sad news. To my eyes, it seemed like the weak has no choice but to follow the power, even becoming a victim of the power. Misunderstanding and hatred among the people, often distorted by power, made me feel very sad, too. I wanted to find the way out.

I probably looked for the ground, on which I could stand in the reality, for it seemed like there was nothing I could believe in. I read so many books, searching for the answer. Eventually I came to think that our resignation to the world must be creating the world like this. Then, harsh reality creates another resignation in our minds. Like a vicious circle. Not only the world, but many people seemed to give up even their own lives. Well, I had no idea what to do for the world, but, at least, I decided not to give up myself and my dream in a pace of Japanese mass society. How can we believe the world, when we can’t believe our own dreams? The world is made up of each of us. I tried to believe and love everybody, even the people who betrayed me and the people who called me stupid. I wanted to see the world where all respect as they are. Believing in the miracles, I would look up the sky.

Well, I couldn’t live on only dream. I worked and worked with only a few hours sleep every night. It was a hard struggling. I was probably able to live fine if I give up my dream and get a job like others do, but I could never give up, for it meant my acceptance that Dream and Love can’t win against the world’s power. I had to prove the miracle, at any cost, for myself.

In the end, my body and mind collapsed. I lost to the society, bound on a bed in a small hospital room. Lying there, I would see the ceiling of the hospital every day and asked for the answer so many times. I couldn’t understand why it happened to me. I just tried to love all the people, I just prayed for all to be saved from the sorrow, I didn’t betray anybody…but ‘See this situation. People who betray others seem to manage things cleverly and win in the end. As they said, I might have been too idealistic. There is nothing we can believe in this harsh reality’……I was almost cursing the world itself at that time.

But, thinking back those days, now I know I learned so much through those harsh days.

I am impressed. Before you hit to Germany, you had reached to Switzerland and Canada … you studied, you learnt English and you still dreamt about your own heavy metal band… Was 2002 year, Hamburg, Germany – You had the many courage when you traversed alone the city night and the bars for spreading the flyers and the old materials of your Japanese band (FAIRY MIRROR). Then you did not know German even… Did you feel fear in the strange places? Where did you take so much courage and strength from?

Of course, I was afraid. Well, it’s gonna be long again to explain, but I’ll try briefly. It may sound a bit strange, but when I was very small, like 2, 3 or 4 years old, some music was always being played inside my head. I was assuming others were hearing it too, but later I found it was not. The music inside me itself became vague, as I grew older. And I wanted to hear it again, for I liked the sound very much. I looked for the similar music for long. It didn’t sound like normal pop songs on a radio, not classic, not punk, not Jazz… Then I came across Hard Rock & Heavy Metal, at the age of 14. I got so excited! This was the music I had heard a long time ago, in myself. Finally I found it! Can you imagine that? I’d found something I had been looking for, for over 10 years! Then, when I first saw the video of EUROPE touring overseas, I was sure I knew this, too. I ‘knew’, or ‘saw’ the similar vision in my memory a long time ago. I felt ‘something’ talked to me deep inside, “yes, this is why you were born”.

Since then, I’ve been feeling the existence of this ‘something’ in my heart, which means for about 16 years. It shows me the beauty of all lives. When I entrust myself to it, I see something very beautiful in everyone…like lights, or what should I call?… eternal love maybe, haha… Well, this ‘something’ can be lost sometimes in the noise of everyday life, especially when I’m too busy or lose the sight of myself. For example, it was totally lost in my terrible condition during my illness. But it always comes back. . It’s too beautiful to keep all to myself. So, in a way, my life may be like a journey, searching for the way to describe this ‘something’. It’s too beautiful to describe so that I haven’t found good words so far. I myself want to know what it is. To find out, all I can do is to follow the call always.

After I got out of the hospital in 2001, I still had to concentrate on treatment, taking medicines against fits which often came back. Sometimes I felt hopeless, like “I might never be able to recover…” I got depressed, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to play in a band again unless I recover. Then my doctor told me that the most important thing was to rest and be relaxed so that my body forgets the pain of these years’ struggling. He told me to forget music, for I love music too much. Yes, I was always blaming my body, like “Why did you stop? Because of you, I lost everything. You had to move on. Now, recover as soon as possible! You must fight again for my dream!” This put so much pressure on my body that it couldn’t recover. It was very hard to forget what I love so much, especially in Japan where most friends were playing in the scene. I envied them and often cried, remembering my days in FAIRY MIRROR. But, I didn’t want to live in the past forever. I had to see the future. So, I left Japan for Switzerland for 2 and a half month, to be free. Visiting Europe was also one of my life dreams, which couldn’t have been come true until then.

In Switzerland, surrounded by beautiful nature, I came to accept what happened in my life. One day, I got a email from one German audience of FAIRY MIRROR. When I replied him that I was now in Switzerland, he asked me to go to WACKEN together. I had to forget music, but I thought there would be no chance like that anymore. I didn’t imagine that I would be able to visit Europe again. So I joined them, heavy metal for one last time. But it couldn’t be the last time. I got so fascinated by the scenery that I called my family from WACKEN, saying “Now I see my new future! I believe that I can recover someday! And, when I recover, I will come back here again, to sing!” After that, I went back to Japan. Then I realized ‘the call in me’ which I’d lost after I got ill, also came back to me. It said I made a right decision. Leaving for Europe would be a thing to do next. But I still had to be patient, for I was not recovered yet. Thinking of using time effectively, I left for Canada for 3 months to study English as preparation to live overseas. My suitcase was filled with medicine, both time I went to Switzerland and Canada.

In July 2002, finally my doctor told me I’m recovered. Sometimes I doubted if my decision was right, for I myself had no idea how to live in a foreign country all alone having, no one and nothing to turn to…. “I don’t know even how to read German alphabets…” Actually it was a difficult situation, for my fiancé and I really wanted to marry. I didn’t want to leave him. I had to choose ‘new family life with him’ or ‘music’. Often I felt like choosing a new life with him. But the call in my heart didn’t disappear. It followed me, saying it’s time to leave Japan. It urged me so much that I said to myself in the end, “Well, there must be something waiting for me. The call will follow me until I find out.” So, I flied for Germany.

At first, I felt so lonely, with no idea to find out the place to live, how to get a visa and so on. I often felt that no one would realize even if I died on the street. Simply, there was nobody who knew me. Surely I was very afraid, like I felt every other time I dived into the unknown. But the call in my heart always had guided me so far. So, I thought it would guide me again. Believing so, I did as my heart told me to do. I went the place as my heart told me to go. That’s how I met Lars. That’s how I have lived so far.

Just on the end of 2002 year you met Lars Ratz from METALIUM. Probably it was decisive moment … Did he help you to compile the band?

Yes, he helped me gather members. I met him about 2 months after I moved to Hamburg. Since I came to Germany alone, I didn’t know the people in the Hamburg music scene yet. And we decided to gather our friends.

When the line-up was compile then the first album of SAEKO “Above Heaven Bellow Heaven” come into being. The album released German label Armageddon Music in 2004 year. Your dream fulfilled!!! The splendid music! Full professionalism! The heavy metal on top-level! What do you feel now when your dream fulfilled?

Dream fulfilled? In a way, yes, but in a way, no. Well, playing overseas was fulfilled. I’m very happy about it. However it is not the final goal. As I said, I’ve long searched for the way to share this ‘something’ I hear in my heart. I haven’t found yet. Besides that, actually, I think I will never reach my goal, because I live in ‘Time’. Everything I get will be lost in the next moment, doesn’t it? So, my dream is…..in a way….probably to see and share ‘eternity’ in this ‘Time’ together with you. How can I reach? Do you know?

Well … I see, that this conversation would can last to eternity (but better if we would will continue the theme except BORN TO DIE webzine, because not everybody likes the metaphysics)… so, let's go to the band … Did someone interest himself your music besides of Armageddon Music?

To find a place to live, I called several people in Germany from the list at the housing info. One of them happened to be a producer. Hearing my story, he seemed interested. He asked me to sing something, and then talked about the contract, his strategies to make me famous etc. I rejected his offers. (Oh, God! Thank you! Probably this was some double-dealer. – Gnom) According to my past experience, most people, not everyone though, from labels or music business talked about music in terms of business rather than art or self-expression. However, I have no interest to be famous. I cannot copy the style of others, either. To tell the truth, I had already refused some offers I’d got in Japan before I came here. So, actually, I got very disappointed at this accident meeting with the producer. “I even flied overseas, but things seem to be the same….” Flying to Germany was a challenge to myself. The most important thing was to live with no compromise, to make songs with no compromise. For that, I first needed members, not a producer.

After that, I got a phone call from another producer. He told me that he heard about me and wanted to meet me to have a talk. Although I didn’t talk with him anything on the phone, he didn’t even tell his name, after cutting the phone, 80% of me already thought about how to reject the offers he would give. I expected the same as other producers I met in my life, more or less….but I felt impolite to refuse the meeting before talking anything. So I went to the café to meet him.

Then, the first question was, ‘Can you copy the style of others?’ Oh, the question I had been asked many times in my life. Every time I answered, “No, I can’t, because this is MY life. I can’t play to be famous”. Every time people went away, hearing my answer. So I thought, “Probably he would leave too, when I answer…but I can’t tell a lie….”, and I answered as I always did. Then, what do you think he replied to me? (Knowing your present position I conjecture. – Gnom). ‘You can’t copy others. Perfect! I’m looking for somebody like you.’ His reaction was something I didn’t expect. We talked on, and I concluded, ‘Finally, I may have met the person who understands me.’ I had an audition later and signed for him. His name is Lars Ratz. Yes, now I know I met the right person for me. He says to me, ‘Do what you believe!’ I’m happy about it.

Today is hard to get rid similarities and musical comparisons. I associated the music of SAEKO with ACCEPT (because there are the musicians probably), HELLOWEEN, JUDAS PRIEST and RUNNING WILD. Do you like the bands?

HELLOWEEN has a big influence on me. Not only music, through reading interviews of Michael Kiske and Kai Hansen, I often contemplated the meaning of my life. So, they probably formed a big part of my character. About other bands, of course I know them and have respect for them too.

SAEKO is also marked by Japanese influences obviously. It sounds very originally. I think about the drums from YAMATO – famous Japanese band. Are these Taiko drums?

Yes, this is taiko drums of YAMATO themselves. I saw their show in Berlin and got so impressed by their energy that I talked to them after the show, asking for the permission to use their sound. They gladly said “yes”. Very nice.

I listened the parties of flute also. The flute associated me with Shakuhachi…

I didn’t think about it till now. But, you may be right. There must be a traditional Japanese element deep inside of me.

In the song “Sinners For False Lights” appears declamation in Japanese. This sounds very firmly, but completely I have not the idea about what tell these words… Hahaha…

‘TENJO TENGE YUIGA DOKUSON’. This is the phrase, known as Budda said after his birth. It means ‘Above Heaven, Below Heaven, I respect only myself alone’. After that, I added my word, ‘WARE KOKONI ARI’, which means ‘I exist here’.

Besides the sharp and the very dynamic heavy metal arrangements in SAEKO also there are the many melodies and the melancholy thanks to the guitar solos and parties of keyboards, e.g. in the ballad “On The Way To Eternity”. What do you create the songs?

Writing songs is like a meditation. I myself don’t know what I will have in the end. I concentrate to be as empty as possible, leaving my intention behind. When I become empty, then music happens by itself. And the songs, coming beyond my consciousness, make me discover myself again. This is fun.

There’s one more good thing in to be empty. I want to express myself as I really am. But, by nature, we human beings tend to hide own weakness and bad sides of ourselves, don’t we? So, when I write something based on my intention, I probably try to write making me better look, too. Being empty brings honesty into my songs.

We know that you learnt to play on the piano, this you use in the band. But did you learn sing also? You are able to very professionally oscillate in high tones and skillfully you pass from strong and sharp parties to completely gentle and melodious phrases. Who is your the best vocalist?

Oh, thank you. I always feel I should improve more, but I’m happy to hear your comment. Yes, I’ve been taking voice trainings, since when I was 20. After I came to Hamburg, my voice trainer is Henning Basse / Metalium. He’s supported me a lot to improve my skills, too. I’m very thankful for it. My biggest influence as an vocalist is Michael Kiske.

I am not surprised that you could find such guys (the musicians). You are very beautiful woman (in addition as Asian you were more mysterious for Europeans), you have the splendid voice and obviously you play on the piano and you arrange the music… Does the work with the rest of band is hard or nice? Who rules in the band? Hahaha…

Oh, I feel a bit embarrassed when you praise me so much (#^ ^#). Actually, this is not a band. It’s more like an Act of Saeko, my life, with musicians helping me to make the act into music. So, things are entrusted to me in the end. Others help me, offering their ideas. But they are not like controlling me. They rather support me in bringing out my possibility. I’m very lucky to have such nice people around me. Working with them is, in a good sense, very relaxing. No ego fighting. On the other hand, it was a bit difficult for me at first, because I was not used to being so free as to decide everything by myself. In Japan, I had been always in bands. Here I work as a kind of solo artist. I must have the very clear vision for myself.

Do some of misters woo you on the rehearsal? Hahaha…

You mean, did anyone in the band ask me to become his girlfriend? No, no…haha. I don’t have any boyfriend.

I think it will change soon, hahaha… How does the public receive you on the concerts? Have you got the problems with guys under the scene maybe? And do you feel feminine envy? Hahaha…

So far, I played 7 concerts in Europe. It seemed like people liked my show. It was very meaningful experience for me. So, I want to do more shows! Then, problems with guys? Actually, I had only one boyfriend in Germany for 4 months or so. Except those 4 months, I have been alone almost all the time since I left Japan, which means for about 3 years. As I said, before I came to Germany, I had a fiancé in Japan. Thinking back those days, I often remember how much I hurt him, leaving him behind. I myself got deeply hurt too. After this incidence, I just can’t go out with guys easily. I may have to give up my love again for music. I don’t want to hurt anyone again, like I did to my fiancé. Sometimes it’s lonely to stay alone, but now I’m more used to it. As long as I have music, I’m satisfied. As for other women, I don’t know if they envy me or not. Actually sometimes I’m jealous of other women with her husband and children. That’s something I gave up to come here. You know, human beings are sometimes capricious. We often envy something we don’t have(^ ^).

What are your concert plans on the rest 2005 year?

I will play this summer, at Wacken Open Air and at Open Air in Gelnhausen ’G!…rockt und hilft’. After that, I will concentrate on making the next cd. Besides that, I can’t make any concert plans at this moment, because I don’t have regular members. This is what we should solve first.

I saw the photo – you and the first ladies of metal music – Doro Pesch (DORO) and Sabina Classen (HOLY MOSES). I think that you enjoyed well. Where does the picture come from? I think that the devilish gesture of your hand don't look good at you. I seem that in you is more the light and positive energy than the darkness.

Oh, which one? Probably it is the one taken at the internet-tv shooting. As Japanese, I don’t know well what the devil is…haha. One thing I can say is that I want to love everything. There would be no light if there were no darkness. Nothing can exist without something which is against it. I myself have inconsistency in me, you know.

Doro Pesch is defined as Metal Queen. Sabina Classen is as Metal Witch. However you have the honour wear the nickname – Metal Princess. Do you like it? In metal bands is little women. But recently women are more and more. Many years ago women were the rarity on the metal scene, e.g. Doro Pesch, Sabina Classen or Lori Bravo – the vocalist of death/grind band NUCLEAR DEATH or Jo Bench – the bass player of the cult death metal band BOLT THROWER or Anneke van Giersbergen – the vocalist of THE GATHERING. At present also is well-known Tanja Turunen from NIGHTWISH. They are many more … How do you think why so little women are fascinate metal music? Many women listen metal music obviously, but the fascination is something more…

Yes, it’s nice to be called Metal Princess. I don’t think I’m so young to be called princess, though…haha. And…I don’t know why not so many women are fascinated. I’m fascinated. The bassist, Mariko, who played on the album is also a woman. Mmm, as for your question, maybe it’s because there were not so many female metal musicians in the past, compared with male musicians?! Or, what do you think?

Probably you're right, but I will add hereinto the specific difference in men and women's personality yet. Women are more sensitive and gentle, and the metal music is hard and sharp (this is the rule). Though at present these changes (and women, and music), hahaha… Women are more sharp but sensitive still as well as the metal is tuneful or emotional and hard still… I think, that I can bravely to ask you about comparison of Japanese metal scene with European metal scene. I think that Japan can be proud with good metal bands also.

I left my band in Japan in the spring of 2001. After that, I was in a hospital, Switzerland, Canada… anyway, I haven’t been in Japanese metal scene for about 4 years. So I myself don’t know how it’s like these days. My impression is that the situation seems to be getting better. I heard some veteran metal bands which disbanded for long have started their activity again. More Japanese bands are getting contracts. When I was playing in Japan, the domestic heavy metal scene wasn’t so lively. It’s nice when it becomes better. (If I am well-informed, there are more and more Japanese band, in peculiarity the heavy metal bands, e.g. F.ROSES, BLACK MASQUERADE, WIZARD'S HYMN, GORGON, etc. About these bands you can read in our webzine in section “Reviews” hahaha… this is the nice self-advertising, hahaha. – Gnom). A nice thing in Europe is going to next country is much easier than in Japan. If you come to Japan, you will know how the society is isolated from other countries. Surrounded by water, there are only, really only a few foreigners. Here I can meet many musicians from other countries. At the festivals, bands from different countries play together. It’s exciting. (In Japan also are many concerts of foreign bands. – Gnom).

Will you stay in Germany lasting? Do you miss to Japan sometimes?

Surely I miss my home, friends, family in Japan. However, I have decided to dedicate my life to music. Or, to be exact, I dedicate my life to that ‘something’ I hear in my heart. As long as there’s something calling me, I will sing on. This ‘something’ is just so beautiful….like the eternity. I really want to see it together with you, somehow in this Time. I want to find out how.

Do you have other dreams yet?

To see the world where all people can understand each other. I will never see it, though. But I still dream.

How do you translate in Japanese “Born To Die”???

‘SINUBEKU UMARERU’, maybe. By the way, I like the phrase, ‘born to die’, because it is so. We are born to die. There would be no life without death.

OK. Arigato Saeko San!!! Very thank you for the interview! The end belongs for SAEKO…

Thank you very much for giving me this opportunity. I enjoyed it. Hope you enjoyed too. Or maybe tired?! This is my life so far. Some people might feel I’m strange. But I dream of the world where everyone can be appreciated as he is. So I’ll live on as I am too. I don’t know where my road leads me to, from now on. The road can be risky sometimes, but I will keep on following the call inside, for the vision inside…..lights in everybody. I hope I can see you someday.