PULSATING ANUS „s/t”

Music: Ass Grind (explained below)
Website: http://www.myspace.com/pulsatinganus
Country: USA
Duration: 19:45


Cool Songs: “Making Hot, Sweet, Juicy Love to a Cubscout,” “Barf In Your Ass,” “Public Finger Sniffer”

Without their knowing it, these Ohio natives have become the forefathers of a new genre: Ass Grind.

What?

Take your average messy Grindcore and marry it to lyrical themes revolving around the human anus. The end product is…one moment…ladies and gentlemen, HailnKill is proud to present… Pulsating Anus.

Ass Grind. Alright!

Seriously now, the untalented trio behind the material at hand has produced a hilarious, rip-roaring, butt-worshiping, nine-song demo album for the ages. It’s unlike anything else you will hear and have heard in the last couple of years.

It’s that good, huh?

Good? “Good” would be the last word you’d associate with these guys. If you’re into shitty, almost nonexistent production, worse musicianship, dumb song titles, and uh, everything most musicians work so hard not to have on their obscure releases, then Pulsating Anus’ 2009 outing is the abomination you’ve been hotly anticipating for ages.

And they’re funny too. Butt-achingly so.

Most of the tracks on this demo barely run a full minute, but halfway through the gritty opener “Headlock Apocalypse” you already know that the hoarse vocals are no more than inane screeches done for the fun of it. You’re in on the joke once “Making Hot, Sweet, Juicy, Love to a Cubscout” zooms to oblivion in twenty seconds, and by “You Fingered Your Cousin Terry” your initial amusement has turned into teary-eyed laughter.

Then “Public Finger Sniffer” arrives with a good, dirty, thrashing melody and when band frontman Owen does these lame guitar wails (“Waaah-waah-waah-waah-wah-wah-wah-waaah-waahhh”) you’ll be shitting your pants and liking it.

You can barely endure the grim “Barf In Your Ass,” which has the decibels and atmosphere to put most Black Metal releases to shame (chorus: “Pop in your mouth/barf in your ass/poop in your mouth/barf in your ass!”), and “More Like Starship…Poopers” proves too much to handle, you won’t breath right. (To their credit, Pulsating Anus has a pretty incredible blastbeat monger behind the kit.)

“Butt Trencher” is more of the same ferocious stuff, while “Pussy” begins with a seductive introduction followed by these sick lapping sounds (as if the band were indeed eating pussy) that shifts to pure riff-driven butt rock. Closer “The Anus That Swallowed Manhattan” is a devastating epic about…the song title explains everything. Let’s just have the opening lines: “Oh my god! It’s an anus! Everybody run…get out of the city…it’s gonna swallow us all!”

The band’s score? You can’t take them seriously anyway, so why the hell not give them a perfect 10?

Waaah-wah-wah-wah-waaah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-
wah-wahwaah-waaah-waah-wahwahwah.

All hail the age of the anus!

note: 10/10

Tracklist

1.Headlock Apocalypse
2.Making Hot, Sweet, Juicy, Love to a Cubscout
3.You Fingered Your Cousin Terry
4.Public Finger Sniffer
5.More Like Starship…Poopers
6.Barf In Your Ass
7.Butt Trencher
8.Pussy
9.The Anus That Swallowed Manhattan

Line-up

Owen – vocals
Kent – guitars
Matt -drums